Hosed: A Single Dad and Virgin Romantic Comedy Page 7
But something about Morgan is different. Of course she's around Adley because she's her nanny, and that more than complicates things, even though Adley is clueless about our not-so-professional relationship. But it's not just that I'm comfortable having a woman I'm intimate with around my daughter. It's so much more. I can clearly see so much more. Like Morgan being in our lives long-term. And not just as a nanny.
I don't realize how lost in my thoughts I've become until Morgan puts her hand on my arm. I jump, looking over at her. Adley has fallen asleep with her head on Morgan's lap, and it's so perfect that it takes me a minute to form words.
"Guess you wore her out," I say, though my attempt at making light conversations fails.
"What's going on?" Morgan asks gently.
I look away. How much do I want to tell her? Finally I settle on something vague enough to not have to reveal my true thoughts.
"I just love that you two have connected so well. She adores you."
Morgan smiles down at my sweet girl. "She's pretty amazing." Her eyes come back to mine. "But that's not all."
I shake my head. She's perceptive.
"Can I ask you a question?" she says when I don't say anything else.
"Sure."
"What happened to Adley's mom?" Her eyes are soft, sincere, but also wary, as if she's not sure how I'll respond to that.
I reach for her hand, twining my fingers through hers. It's something I came to terms with a long time ago, but that doesn't mean it's easy to talk about.
"Adley's mother and I weren't married," I say first, choosing my words carefully. "But I did love her. We hadn't been together too long when she got pregnant. We were young and irresponsible. But we were going to make a go of it. Try to make a home for Adley."
Glancing at Morgan, I see she's watching me closely. I wish I knew what she was thinking. I take a deep breath and continue.
"When she was eight months pregnant, she was in a terrible car accident. A truck slammed into the side of her car. She died instantly." I stop, trying to rein in the emotions that are coming with this next part. It's even harder to talk about it now because imagining my life without Adley is impossible.
"They took her to the ER and were able to save Adley, but just barely. She was in the Newborn ICU for months. For the longest time, we didn't know if she would make it." My voice breaks, and I look down at my girl, unable to talk about it anymore.
Morgan scoots closer to me, reaching up to touch my cheek. I don't even realize there are tears on my face until she wipes them away. I look at her and find that she's crying too.
"She really is incredible. So strong," Morgan whispers.
I nod. "She is." Wrapping my arm around Morgan, I tuck her into my side, strangely comforted that I've shared this with her. When I drop a kiss on the top of her head, I realize that this isn't the only thing I want to share with her. I want to share everything with her. My whole life.
17
Morgan
We make it home with Adley still asleep, and Leo tucks her into bed while I put away the picnic supplies. I think over the things he said this afternoon and am amazed all over again at what an incredible father he is.
I know I'm falling for him. Hard. It's impossible not to. The past few weeks have been the best of my life. I could easily see myself settling into a life like this. But I have no idea where his head is at. We still haven't really discussed what's going on with us. We carry on as if I'm the nanny in front of Adley, but when she's not around it doesn't feel like that at all.
It feels almost as if we are a couple. The sex is amazingly hot—and frequent—but there's more to it than just that. We've formed almost a partnership and become incredibly close in a really short amount of time. I know it's because we're living under the same roof and taking care of Adley. It's like we're a family, even though I know that's not what it is. I have to remember that. I have to make myself keep that straight in my head.
Because it would be all too easy for me to want that.
Leo comes in and startles me from my thoughts, walking up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist as he moves my hair aside and kisses my neck. "She's out for the night."
"Already?" I turn in his arms, and tilt my head, giving him better access to the sensitive skin of my neck. He traces his tongue up to just below my ear, right where he's learned I love to be kissed.
"Yes. She must have had a long week. Either that or stayed up way too late last night." He pulls back and raises his eyebrows.
I shrug, fighting a smile. "We may have stayed up painting our toenails and watching movies." He worked a long shift until early this morning.
"You have no idea how glad I am that you did." He grips my hips and rocks against me.
I feign innocence, as if I didn't do it for this very reason. "Why's that?"
"Because now I have the whole night to fuck you senseless. I missed you the last few nights."
I smile into his lips as leans in to kiss me hungrily. "Then what are you waiting for?"
I reach down and grip his cock, already hard for me, and feel myself get wet at the groan that he releases. God, he is so fucking sexy. I can't believe how much I want him. All. The. Time. I don't think I'll ever get tired of this.
Right here in the kitchen, I decide I can't wait to have him. I undo his pants and pull out his cock, stroking it hard and fast, then before I can even think about what I'm doing, I drop to my knees in front of him.
"Fuck, Morgan," he bites out.
I haven't done this before, but I've thought about it plenty. "Tell me what you like," I say, hearing the need in my voice.
I've lost every last bit of shyness when it comes to him. I don't mind telling him what I want or asking him what he needs.
He grips the counter behind my head, widening his stance, and when he speaks his voice is gravelly. "Suck on the head."
I do. I take it in my mouth, swirling my tongue around it, then gently suck.
"Fuck, just like that," he groans. "Can you take it deeper?"
I lower my mouth further onto his cock, gripping the base of it with my fist and pumping it in time with my head as I bob up and down on him.
His breathing is ragged, and I know I must be doing something right. "How far can you take it, baby? See how deep you can take me."
He places his hand on the back of my head and guides me down gently. I relax my jaw and flatten my tongue, letting him thrust his cock as far as he wants. It's almost too much, but the moans of pleasure he's giving make me want to keep going.
I look up at him, and he's watching me with a mix of awe and lust as I take him all the way into my mouth, feeling the tip of his cock in my throat. He quirks his brow as if asking if it's okay, and I wink in response, letting him know that I can handle it.
"You are so fucking amazing, Morgan," he says through gritted teeth, his eyes locked on me as he continues to fuck my face. He thrusts in and out of my mouth until I feel his body tighten, his cock swell, and I know he's about to come. He starts to pull out, but I realize I don't want him to. I want to taste him. I want to experience all of this. So I grab his ass and keep him in place, forcing his cock even further down my throat, moaning myself at how hot this is.
That does him in. The next thing I know he's groaning like I've never heard as he shoots hot jet after jet down my throat. I keep him there until he's totally drained, then I suck him once last time until his dick releases from my lips with a pop.
"Holy hell, Morgan." He drags me up to my feet, looking at me in astonishment. "I think I fucking love you," he says before crushing his mouth to mine.
I know it's just a figure of speech. He doesn't actually love me. But part of me wishes he did. Because I'm pretty sure I'm completely fucking in love with him.
18
Leo
I don't ever want to leave this bed. I could stay wrapped up in Morgan for the rest of my life.
She continues to blow my mind. I pull her against me, my cock pressi
ng against her ass, already hard again even though we just fucked for the second time tonight. I've never been this insatiable with a woman. I don't think I'll ever get enough of her.
She laughs and wiggles her ass against me. "I think one brand new experience is enough for one night."
I chuckle. Even though the idea hadn't crossed my mind, I can't help teasing her. "You sure? You may like it." I take my dick in my hand and tease her tight hole with is. Her little gasp of excitement takes me totally by surprise.
"Maybe I would," she murmurs.
I roll her over in my arms and shake my head as I look at her, my lips quirking up. "You really are a dirty girl, aren't you?"
She shrugs. "Who knew?"
I laugh. I love how she's embraced her sexuality so fully with me. "Well, we have to leave something to look forward to."
Morgan slings a leg over my hip, and my hard cock settles between her legs. We lie there for a while, just talking, relaxing, enjoying being together. I wonder if she caught my little slip earlier in the kitchen after she blew my mind with her mouth.
It just came out. I didn't mean to say it. But now that I have, I'm starting to wonder if it's true. I can't get enough of her. I love our routine. I know I want her in my life. I'm just not sure where her head is at.
I'm about to find a way to ask her when I hear the latch of my bedroom door. Oh fuck. I didn't lock it when we came in.
Morgan's eyes go wide, and I know I didn't imagine it. She dives under the covers just as Adley pokes her head inside.
"Daddy? Where's Morgan?"
Her question confuses me for a minute. "What do you mean?"
"I went to her room to ask for some water, but she's not there."
I pause for a second. She went to Morgan before she came to me? That's...interesting. And kind of awesome. That means she doesn't just like Morgan, she trusts her.
"I'll get it for you, angel," I say. "Just go back to your room, and I'll be right there."
As soon as she's gone, I throw on some pajama pants and go get some water for her. But when I go back to her room, she's not there. Maybe she went to look for Morgan again. But no, when I check, she's not in there either.
I walk back to my room and find her sitting in my chair. "What's up, baby?" I hand her the water.
"I really like Morgan," she says, taking a sip from her cup.
I don't like the way her voice is tinged with fear. "I do too. She's a great nanny."
Adley shakes her head. "I don't want her to be my nanny."
My stomach sinks, and I kneel down in front of her. "Why not?"
She looks me straight I the eye. "I want her to be my mommy."
To say that I'm stunned is the understatement of the year. I involuntarily shift my gaze to the bed, where Morgan is doing a pretty good job of looking like a bunched up wad of blankets.
"What made you think of that?"
She takes another sip of water. "Everything is better with her here. It feels like we're a family. I don't want her to go away."
"She's not going anywhere, sweetie," I say, ruffling her hair. "Don't worry about that."
"Is she your girlfriend?"
Another long pause as I try to figure out how to answer this question. "What would you think about that?" I figure it's a safe response.
She nods eagerly. "I'd like that a lot. I know you like her. I've seen the way you watch her all the time."
I chuckle, amazed at this little girl's perception. "I do like her."
"Good. Then make her your girlfriend, and then you can get married, and then I'll have a mommy." She smiles like it's that simple.
Scrubbing a hand over my jaw, I try to figure out how to tell her it's not. "Well, there is a little more to it than that."
She tilts her head and gives me a look as if I'm the one who doesn't understand. "Oh, Daddy. It's okay. She likes you too." She stands up, carrying her water with her as she goes back out the door, calling over her shoulder, "Night, Daddy. Night, Morgan."
As soon as she's out of the room, Morgan bolts up in the bed, meeting my shocked gaze with one of her own. Looks like we haven't been as sneaky as we thought.
19
Morgan
I can't get Adley's words out of my head. All the next day. And the day after.
I want her to be my mommy.
By Monday morning, I realize that I have no clue how to handle this. All along I've been trying to not let myself get too invested in Leo, knowing that I could get hurt. But now I'm terrified that the one person who will really get hurt will be Adley. And that would be even worse.
She's already lost her mother, and the things she said that night in Leo's room make it clear that she desperately wants a mother figure. And right now, I'm filling that role.
I grimace as I think yet again that she knows that something is going on between Leo and me—even though I'm sure she doesn't actually know what.
What am I supposed to do? I spend the day cleaning up the house, doing laundry, shopping for more things to replace some of what I lost in the fire. Anything to keep my mind off this huge problem. But none of it helps. I can't get it out of my head. Leo will be working until tomorrow, and somehow I know I have to figure this out before he comes home.
The one thing I do know is that I can't let this continue. Too much is at stake. The only problem is that I can't bear to think about ending it. To know what I've had with Leo, then walk away from it? It seems impossible. Yet I don't see another way. The longer I stay with them, the more attached Adley will get—the more attached I will get—and it will only hurt us all worse in the end.
I should have known better from the beginning to get involved with Leo. I only have myself to blame. But at the same time, I don't know how I could have resisted him. And I can't bring myself to regret it. Any of it. Because the past month has been the best of my life.
If I can just make it through the end of the week, maybe something will come to me. I have another interview with the school I want to teach at on Wednesday. They've been interviewing all summer, and they're making a decision on Friday.
That's what I'll do, I decide. I'll just put it out of my head until Friday.
When Leo comes home the next afternoon, I busy myself with dinner and more cleaning, even though I don't think the apartment has a single speck of dirt left anywhere. After Adley goes to bed, I go to my room, not sure I can handle a night in Leo's bed knowing that I'm ultimately going to be saying goodbye.
I feel rather than see him appear in my doorway, and I pretend to be asleep. He has to know something is wrong. I haven't spent a night in my own bed since that first night. But I can't help it. As hard as I've tried not to, I've fallen for him. Now I just have to shut myself off to prevent even more heartache.
"Morgan," he says softly, and I hear his footsteps as he approaches my bed. "You okay?"
I don't say anything, and after a minute, he leaves the room. I let out the breath I was holding, and along with it comes a flood of pain. How am I supposed to walk away from this? From him? From Adley?
I've made a complete mess of things, and there's no obvious way to fix any of it.
20
Leo
By Friday I know something is very, very wrong. Morgan has told me she's stressed about her job at the school, that she hasn't felt well, and a handful of other excuses. I see them for what they are.
She's pulling away. What Adley said has freaked her out. I need to figure out a way to let her know that she doesn't need to worry about it, that I don't have any expectations of her. That she doesn't need to feel any pressure. She's still so young. The idea of marriage probably terrifies her.
I, on the other hand, have had the opposite reaction since hearing what's going on in Adley's little head. The thought has had time to simmer in my mind, and I like it. Yeah, it's way too soon for something like that. But I want to let Morgan know that she means so much more to me than I've yet to tell her. And that I see a future with her. That I want a futu
re with her.
Morgan comes into the apartment a little before I have to leave to get Adley from school, and I stand from where I've been waiting on the couch.
"Can we talk?"
She pauses, her face a mask. Then she nods. "Yeah, let me just drop these off in the bedroom."
I watch as she walks toward the hall, disappearing into her room. When she comes back out, she looks wary. She sits on a chair. "What's up, Leo?"
"You're avoiding me again," I say with a small smile, remembering what I told her that first week she moved in.
She remembers too, because her lips curve slightly. But this conversation feels so different. Then we were desperate to have each other. Now it feels very one-sided.
"Not exactly," she says slowly.
"I miss you, Morgan." I cross to her, unable to stand on the other side of the room when it feels like she's pulling away from me.
She lifts a hand to my cheek, and the sadness in her eyes goes right to my chest. "I miss you too."
"Then what's going on? And don't give me another one of your excuses. I know it's something else."
She takes a deep breath like she's gathering her strength. "I can't be Adley's nanny anymore."
I pull back. That's not what I expected at all. "What? Why?"
"Well, I got hired by the school..."
I smile and squeeze her knee. "That's wonderful! I know how much this means to you. But what does that have to do with me and Adley?"
She purses her lips and looks away. "I just think it would be best if I focused on my new job. It will be a lot of work to take on a new job and continue taking care of her."